Not about me

Don’t read this if you want to hang on to that tired belief that pastors walk on water!  So here’s the deal; my wife had outpatient surgery on her foot and they sent her home for me to care for. What’s so hard about that? Right!?  She's been at home 24/7. I'm timing her medications, making sure she has water within reach, keeping ice in that cooling mechanism that sooths her foot, and mealtimes kept rolling around like clockwork. It's funny. You think you're humble until something like this happens and you realize just how self-centered you really are. I had gotten used to just taking care of myself but now I get to think about, even anticipate her needs.

I have always respected men who took care of wives slipping into Alzheimers and such. I love the sentiment in ‘Notebook’ where James Garner keeps reading their love story to his wife who doesn’t know who he is or why he takes an interest in her. But serving someone else in real life isn't the same thing as warm sentiment from a distance! My wife and I have raised 3 children together - so I knew how to put myself aside and engage in mutual responsibility together. But now it is just me and her, and we both have full-time jobs. I guess I've been just kind of expecting her to take care of herself while I take care of myself. 

Having her around has reminded me how selfish I am and how rewarding it is to make her daily needs a part of my world. I like it. Me taking care of me bores me anyway. :(  Perhaps I'll never go back!