Celebrating men, Satisfying women.

Heard an interview with Alison Armstrong on the radio. Since my teens I’ve been fascinated by the two genders God has created and how they relate together. Alison has written several books and leads a seminar called; ‘Celebrating men, Satisfying women’ - in which she suggests that men and women are delightfully different and that they can learn to like, even love each other. But it’s a stiff learning curve! J She suggests that women want to please their husbands and men want to care for their wives.  Both set about to do just that. Why do we so often fail and fail miserably?  Here’s the rub.

As the woman sets out to please her husband she discovers that he’s not as pleased as he ‘should’ be.  She gets frustrated and doesn’t try as hard.  The man sets out to care for his wife only to discover that despite his efforts she doesn't feel that cared for. He gets discouraged. Both try less and find less soul satisfying intimacy.  At best things settle into a stagnant status quo. 

Alison suggests, "What if instead of guessing at what pleases your husband or instead of guessing at what your wife needs, you simply ask and then do it?" Men and women don’t think alike. We’re different. (Duh!) As blind romantics we often expect our spouse to meet our need without expressing it. We even blame them if they guess wrong! ‘You should know what would make me happy!’ we think or even say out loud.  

So stop guessing and start communicating. Stop blaming and start investing in understanding.  It was God's idea to invent just two very different genders and then to send us on the adventure of marriage, an adventure of ‘celebrating men and satisfying women’.  This is a God-drenched world!